Crocodile 2: Death Swamp

10 Dec
Crocodile 2

Crocodile 2 (according to IMDB it’s got the subtitle ‘Death Swamp’) starts off like any cheesy action movie – so much so that I began to wonder if I’d put in the right disk (I am senile like that). There’s a bank heist, the set-up for an air disaster, and a highly amusing ‘men in dark glasses walking in slow-mo with a guitar riff played over the soundtrack‘ scene and all the usual boring introductions.

The plane plays host to a wide array of stock asshole characters – none of whom anyone in their right mind would want to travel with.  We have the cocky guy who knows too much for his own good, the sleazy businessman, the drug-fueled air hostess, a thug with what can only be described as a ‘perplexing’ accent, a sex-pest and, of course, poor man’s Samuel L. Jackson who doesn’t seem to be able to go 5 mins without saying ‘motherf**ker’ at least 15 times.

Insert nonsense plot device for plane crash in a swamp and enter croc #1 stage left. Amusingly, there are shots filmed from the croc’s perspective (with growling noises and distorted sounds) from through some trees at about er…human eye level.  Croc #1 is no match for aforementioned guys in dark glasses and meets a swift and bullet-riddled end.  This, however, pisses off Mamma Croc no end – as you’d expect – and so begins the ‘terror’.

The crocs are mosly only seen during nighttime sequences for the first part of the film – which is a good choice – but when it is seen in the light it’s surprisingly convincing (for this type of film).  That being said, perhaps my experience of having seen the laughable effects at the end of in Snakes on a Train has rendered me rather easily impressed?

The dialogue is nothing short of colourful (some scenes could probably give Reservoir Dogs a run for its money).  Mind you, I suppose if I were faced with a huge crocodile I suspect I’d develop a severe case of Tourettes too.  There are some memorable lines or scenes though – such as the “EAT ME!” shouted by Mr Sleazy Businessman from a first floor window (while flipping the bird at croc-zilla).  His wish is granted.  Personally, I loved “You a survivor – you go survive!” (said in such a tone that it should really have been followed up with head-bobbing and finger snapping).

Overall, it has pretty much everything you’d want from a monster movie – bad acting, ridiculous characters, some silly deaths, inexplicable explosions, cheesy dialogue.  Oddly, the effects are pretty decent and the crocodile doesn’t look like a huge lump of plasticine.  The attempted rape scene is er…a bit serious for what really should be light-hearted entertainment – they haven’t really got the balance between jarring people with serious issues and umm…the rest of the film.  I wouldn’t be in a rush to see it again but it was most certainly an improvement on Crocodile

One Response to “Crocodile 2: Death Swamp”

  1. phxhawke (@phxhawke) December 10, 2011 at 10:39 pm #

    If this was an improvement over the first one, I can’t wait to hear the review for the first one o_O


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: