Archive | June, 2012

Mass Effect 3’s New Endings – “Extended Cut” DLC Reviewed

27 Jun
Mass Effect 3 Extended Cut

Too Bad This Wasn’t in the Original Game

Back when Mass Effect 3 first came out, I played the hell out of it. It was a blast – an epic conclusion to the story.

Until I got to the original ending.

It’s the main reason I never posted a review. I loathed the original endings so much that I couldn’t get through the review without it turning into one giant rant. The same ending videos with only a different colored explosion to separate them, the leaps of logic, the glaring holes – I had the gaming wind knocked out of me. It wasn’t a sense of betrayal so much as extreme disappointment. Like books and movies, a game can survive a slow or even bad beginning if the end is great – but reverse that and the whole experience gets tainted.

Now the “Extended Cut” DLC is out, with “enhanced” versions of the endings – in addition to a fourth ending that was oddly missing the first time around. While there are still some issues, Bioware has gone a long way toward giving Mass Effect fans the epic ending we all expected. Continue reading

Twice the Teeth, Thrice the Bad: 2-Headed Shark Attack Reviewed

11 Jun

With a poster this absurd, I didn’t touch a thing…

I try to be positive when I review movies. It’s hard to make these things, and when I can see effort being put into the final product I tend to look for the positive rather than cling to the negative – especially since it’s so easy to find what’s wrong with B movies.

I can’t do that with this film.

There are movies that are bad in a good way, there are movies that are bad in a not so good way, and there are movies that are just God awful. This one not only dips a toe in that third pool, it jumps in headfirst and breaks its neck in the shallow waters. Continue reading

Review: Prometheus

9 Jun

Another sci-fi prequel?

Normally the movies I review are older and cheesier, but since cutting the cable a few months ago I’ve been struggling a bit in the post-SyFy world I now live in (thank God for Netflix, or I’d be completely devoid of gloriously cheesy movies in my life). With that said, I figure I’d take a look at a movie that *just* came out and, in fact, isn’t terribly cheesy after all.

Spoiler warning
I’ll try not to reveal (what I consider to be) any major plot points, but be forewarned.

After an extended absence from the genre, Ridley Scott is back with a new sci-fi movie, Prometheus. Whether it’s the spiritual or actual predecessor to his seminal film Alien I’ll leave for you to decide – though I did think it was pretty clear what it was. Continue reading

Review: Iron Sky

5 Jun

Warning: I’m aware quite a lot of you haven’t seen this yet, but it’s quite difficult to write about something without giving a lot away so there are spoilers.  However, it is a film about Nazis on the moon, people, you can guess what’s going to happen.

Iron Sky

It’s 2018 and the world hasn’t changed vastly – people are still using iPhones & androids, tablets have weird hologram projections, police ride segways, that interactive Microsoft table that costs an absolute bomb is still kicking about, cities still look pretty much the same.

I say it hasn’t changed much, but we’re presented with a terrifying future where the US is governed by someone blatantly meant to be Sarah Palin (*shudder*) – ironically using a slogan of ‘Yes we can’.  Hilariously, the White House is bedecked with taxidermy creatures of varying sizes – including a positively ginormous moose head pretty much half the size of a car sticking out the wall.  She’s apparently kicked off a campaign called ‘Black to the moon’ – sending our black hero to the moon, whereupon he encounters the Nazi’s swastika-shaped (what else?) moon-base.

Continue reading

Carpal Tunneling: A Casual Addict’s Review of Diablo 3

3 Jun

The first one’s free…

Ah, the 90’s – I remember it fondly. That decade gave us alternative rock, cell phones that didn’t suck, and the beginnings of the modern internet. It also gave us Reality Bites and the Spice Girls, so don’t go confusing it with a golden age.

The mid 90’s gave us a dungeon crawling clickfest called Diablo. I loved that game – a gauntlet-like action game with the levelling and loot of an RPG. A few years later came Diablo II. By then I was a little tired of the formula, and never really got into the game.

Then I promptly forgot about it for a decade.

Now, their third effort is out, with pretty graphics and the multiplayer muscle of behind it. And while I can’t help but wonder if the decade-long wait was really worth it, the addicting gameplay that hooked me the first time is (sadly, for my free time) still present. Continue reading