Archive | June, 2012

Mass Effect 3’s New Endings – “Extended Cut” DLC Reviewed

27 Jun
Mass Effect 3 Extended Cut

Too Bad This Wasn’t in the Original Game

Back when Mass Effect 3 first came out, I played the hell out of it. It was a blast – an epic conclusion to the story.

Until I got to the original ending.

It’s the main reason I never posted a review. I loathed the original endings so much that I couldn’t get through the review without it turning into one giant rant. The same ending videos with only a different colored explosion to separate them, the leaps of logic, the glaring holes – I had the gaming wind knocked out of me. It wasn’t a sense of betrayal so much as extreme disappointment. Like books and movies, a game can survive a slow or even bad beginning if the end is great – but reverse that and the whole experience gets tainted.

Now the “Extended Cut” DLC is out, with “enhanced” versions of the endings – in addition to a fourth ending that was oddly missing the first time around. While there are still some issues, Bioware has gone a long way toward giving Mass Effect fans the epic ending we all expected. Continue reading

Twice the Teeth, Thrice the Bad: 2-Headed Shark Attack Reviewed

11 Jun

With a poster this absurd, I didn’t touch a thing…

I try to be positive when I review movies. It’s hard to make these things, and when I can see effort being put into the final product I tend to look for the positive rather than cling to the negative – especially since it’s so easy to find what’s wrong with B movies.

I can’t do that with this film.

There are movies that are bad in a good way, there are movies that are bad in a not so good way, and there are movies that are just God awful. This one not only dips a toe in that third pool, it jumps in headfirst and breaks its neck in the shallow waters. Continue reading

Review: Prometheus

9 Jun

Another sci-fi prequel?

Normally the movies I review are older and cheesier, but since cutting the cable a few months ago I’ve been struggling a bit in the post-SyFy world I now live in (thank God for Netflix, or I’d be completely devoid of gloriously cheesy movies in my life). With that said, I figure I’d take a look at a movie that *just* came out and, in fact, isn’t terribly cheesy after all.

Spoiler warning
I’ll try not to reveal (what I consider to be) any major plot points, but be forewarned.

After an extended absence from the genre, Ridley Scott is back with a new sci-fi movie, Prometheus. Whether it’s the spiritual or actual predecessor to his seminal film Alien I’ll leave for you to decide – though I did think it was pretty clear what it was. Continue reading

Review: Iron Sky

5 Jun

Warning: I’m aware quite a lot of you haven’t seen this yet, but it’s quite difficult to write about something without giving a lot away so there are spoilers.  However, it is a film about Nazis on the moon, people, you can guess what’s going to happen.

Iron Sky

It’s 2018 and the world hasn’t changed vastly – people are still using iPhones & androids, tablets have weird hologram projections, police ride segways, that interactive Microsoft table that costs an absolute bomb is still kicking about, cities still look pretty much the same.

I say it hasn’t changed much, but we’re presented with a terrifying future where the US is governed by someone blatantly meant to be Sarah Palin (*shudder*) – ironically using a slogan of ‘Yes we can’.  Hilariously, the White House is bedecked with taxidermy creatures of varying sizes – including a positively ginormous moose head pretty much half the size of a car sticking out the wall.  She’s apparently kicked off a campaign called ‘Black to the moon’ – sending our black hero to the moon, whereupon he encounters the Nazi’s swastika-shaped (what else?) moon-base.

Continue reading

%d bloggers like this: