Review: Iron Sky

5 Jun

Warning: I’m aware quite a lot of you haven’t seen this yet, but it’s quite difficult to write about something without giving a lot away so there are spoilers.  However, it is a film about Nazis on the moon, people, you can guess what’s going to happen.

Iron Sky

It’s 2018 and the world hasn’t changed vastly – people are still using iPhones & androids, tablets have weird hologram projections, police ride segways, that interactive Microsoft table that costs an absolute bomb is still kicking about, cities still look pretty much the same.

I say it hasn’t changed much, but we’re presented with a terrifying future where the US is governed by someone blatantly meant to be Sarah Palin (*shudder*) – ironically using a slogan of ‘Yes we can’.  Hilariously, the White House is bedecked with taxidermy creatures of varying sizes – including a positively ginormous moose head pretty much half the size of a car sticking out the wall.  She’s apparently kicked off a campaign called ‘Black to the moon’ – sending our black hero to the moon, whereupon he encounters the Nazi’s swastika-shaped (what else?) moon-base.

You see, at the end of the war the Nazis retreated to the moon – where they’ve been plotting their next move, learning English, building a huge battleship, and obviously breeding the Master Race – duh.  The Nazis are hilariously overacted – there’s the Einstein-look-a-like crazy scientist, the wooden Klaus with his plans of domination, the Fuhrer looking incredibly ill, and, of course, the blonde bombshell Love Interest.

For people who presumably have nothing else to do besides you know, practice for their impending world domination, the Nazis are a bit rubbish at fighting so our hero – “Washington, James Washington” – is able to escape their clutches  and end up…opening an air lock (good one, mate!).  This is obviously a great opportunity to introduce the male viewers to their favourite part of the movie – Regina, who promptly gets sucked out the airlock losing half her clothes in the process.  Predictably she’s caught by Washington and….er….hurled back into the moonbase with one free arm.  The laws of physics were evidently sucked out the airlock just before her and he’s got the proportional upper-body strength of an ant, guys, it’s ok.  DON’T ASK QUESTIONS.  The Nazis are able to recapture their target – who is described as “Unarmed but possibly angry“.

Meanwhile, back on Earth – there’s some kind of UN meeting where all the politicians are grilling Palin-a-like about her moon activities.  The video of the landing has been leaked and they’re questioning what happens after the video feed cuts off.  It’s all a conspiracy!  They’re mining the moon!  They’re up to military shenanigans!  Oh my!  Not-Palin denies all of this fervently.

The Nazis decide to send a mission back to earth to collect more “telephone computers” to power their massive warship (via ‘Universal Systematic Binding‘, of course) – with plans of using an ‘Albinised’ (he looks truly ridiculous) and brainwashed Washington to infiltrate.  In a streak of pure genius, the Nazi scout ships are stereotypical UFO shaped – they’ve been with us all along!!  It seems to lose pace a little when the action moves back to Earth – there’s an odd scene in a VW minivan which didn’t fit very well with the rest of the film for me.

They infiltrate their way into influencing US politics at the highest point with relative ease – through er…a fashion designer (DON’T ASK QUESTIONS).  Stuff happens – the president gives a speech penned by the Nazis and everyone thinks it’s amazing.  The Nazis start their attack on the planet – sending out all their UFOs.  Meanwhile Not-Palin thinks this is the best thing since sliced cheesebread because apparently nothing makes a president more popular than a war and Nazis are “the only guys we actually managed to beat in a fair fight“.

They call a meeting of the big players wherein all the politicians bicker a bit but end on Not-Palin’s note of “Let’s just beat the shit out of these pricks and talk about the details later“.  She sends up the ‘USS George W Bush‘ while the other countries send up various space bangers – including one called Dundee01 amusingly captained by someone sounding distinctly familiar from Australia – to fight off the Nazi er…space Zephyrs.  It’s really well done – the special effects are actually awesome, the music is ‘Ride of the Valkyries‘, it’s all so awesomely ludicrous.

Back on the moonbase, Klaus is determined to get their steampunk behemoth off the ground.  Love Interest is finally making herself slightly useful and is lurking around trying to stop him.  Only some guards stand in her way.  Luckily, she spies a “National Anthem – for motivation break glass” sign (of course!) – this renders the guards stationary in a state of ‘Heil Hitler’.  Fittingly, the fight scenes are highly entertaining – lots of slow-mo flying through the air, cheesy dialogue etc.

Of course, we all know how it ends – and fittingly, the politicians all start fighting over some chemicals on the moon.  There’s a sheer genius fight scene set to a slowed-down version of ‘The Star Spangled Banner‘ with politicians leaping over their desks, ripping their jackets open, paper flying everywhere – it’s really well done.  The film closes with a shot of the moon with a massive chunk out of it and a view of Earth with humans doing what they do best – blowing shit up.

The film is everything I thought it would be.  However, I wouldn’t say it’s utterly mindless entertainment – it could be if you wanted it to be, but there’s also a lot of social commentary packed into this slice of stupidity.  Really insanely patriotic Republican Americans should probably avoid this like the plague, some of the scenes with the Sarah Palin-esque character in particular and quite apt.  There was also a niggling part of me that felt a bit guilty at points: I questioned the comical perception of Nazis at points because, well, we all know people are really bloody ignorant these days and if this is all they are aware of then I have a horrible feeling that their perception of Nazis will be of bumbling idiots in silly uniforms – when really that couldn’t be further from the truth.  But then, that’s just me and really, niggling feelings aside, it’s a film about Nazis on the moon – living in a giant swastika!

All seriousness aside, Iron Sky is pretty much a triumph – it blows Mega-Shark out the water entirely.  It had the potential to go horribly wrong but it really didn’t.  This film is amazingly crazy and there are tons of amusing little details crammed in.  It blatantly had the budget of a ‘decent’ mainstream film but they strive to produce a really high-quality B-movie and they succeeded hands down.  Everyone needs to see this.

5 crazy moon Nazis out of 5

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