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Mega Shark Vs Kolossus AKA “Go home, Mega Shark, you’re drunk”

2 Nov

kolossusOh, once glorious Mega Shark, how far you’ve fallen. We’re now on what feels like the eleventy-millionth Mega Shark sequel, I think mega shark has now fought pretty much everything going – except Arnie (now, that, I’d watch!). Perhaps in the next one he’ll die…and then come back as Ghost Mega shark (I’ll bring the popcorn).

Exaggerations aside, we’ve had Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark, and now…this.

So, mega shark is back and he’s flicking Navy ships out the water left, right, and centre for no reason. He doesn’t seem to have a purpose – he’s generally causing havoc as per usual. We join the scene where a Naval fleet, made up of poor man’s Samuel L Jackson (who actually does a reasonable job if you shut your eyes), some generic non-characters, and some inexplicably low-neckline, PVC/pleather-clad babes (Team Unicorn) in a submarine battle Mega Shark.

Meanwhile…the Russians (who else?) have accidentally awakened a giant robotic killing machine they built during the Cold War while they’re searching for an alternative power source. For no apparent reason, they seem to have spent presumably hundreds of millions of rubles giving the robot the appearance of anatomical, exposed human muscles. OK.  Did they give the robot any cool weapons to match his ridiculous muscles?  Well, er…apparently it has the ability to explode (but not disassemble) over and over again.  Well, it’s different…

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Sharknado 3: Oh hell no! is showing THIS WEEK

19 Jul

Get the popcorn in and settle down because the long-awaited Sharknado 3 will premiere on the Syfy channel in various countries this week.

It’s on in the USA at “9/8c” (I’m assuming this time slot makes more sense in America) on Wednesday, and at 10pm on Thursday in the UK.

In the meantime, apparently there’s an app you can download for iOS and Android to “Go shark yourself” – you can insert your face into a shark’s mouth and various other images.  Post your shark pictures in the comments!

*EDIT*

I may have gone a bit OTT with the app…

Go Shark Yourself

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Go Shark Yourself

Coming soon: Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre

9 May

Well, they really weren’t aiming for quality with this one judging by the title… Still, it does look highly amusing.

Iron Sky Presents…

16 Apr

I’ll just put this here…

Jedward to make an appearance in Sharknado 3

11 Apr

So, in one swift move, Sharknado 3 is shaping up to be literally the worst film ever (I mean, it sounded awesomely bad before but now, it’s on another level entirely).

It is apparently going to feature the incredibly irritating tour-de-force of ridiculousness that is, Jedward. For the Americans in our readership, if you haven’t heard of them, this is one of those things you should have been thankful for on Thanksgiving all these years. Very thankful.

I’ll just put these here… You have been warned.

Via Unreality Tv

“Sharknado 3: Oh hell no!” gets a date!

31 Mar

Hold on to your hats, people! Everyone’s favourite shark-related weather disaster film is coming back – and will be shown on Syfy on July 22nd in the UK. To make sure it’s bigger, “better”, and more cheesy – this time they’ve reeled in the “talents” of The Hoff too!

Hasselhoff is quoted as saying “It’s the worst movie you have ever seen. The first one was the worst. The second one was even worse. I’m so honoured to be in Sharknado 3.”

We. Can’t. Wait.

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Zombeavers

9 Jan

Zombeavers_film_posterFor Christmas, the other half of Two Geeks (Thomas) bought me the eagerly awaited Zombeavers which I wrote about a while ago. (He also bought me Wolf Cop but let’s not get ahead of ourselves here.) So, not long after the decimated carcass of Christmas dinner was binned, the wrapping paper tidied away, and I’d finally managed peel myself off my parents’ sofa to come back to Dundee, obviously, I needed to treat myself to this spectacle asap.

I wasn’t disappointed. In case you need to remind yourself of the promise of utter nonsense included in this film, here’s the trailer:

It’s not often that one of these films manages to tick all of the boxes but I can honestly say Zombeavers has everything I want in a B-movie. Terrible acting, an utterly ridiculous (and fairly simple) plot, an amusing script, dodgy anamatronics (always better than CGI, in my opinion), an awesome theme song, boobs for the men-folk, and plenty of humour – what more could you need?

We join a bunch of teenagers (complete with the usual relationship dramas) in an isolated cabin in the woods. Obviously, there’s also some scary judgmental, gun-toting locals who disapprove whole-heartedly of skin being on display, and obviously, a whole bunch of chemically-contaminated, psychotic beavers who evidently dislike people being on their turf. Chaos ensues, of course. Flaming anamatronic, whack-a-mole, beaver chaos.

zombeaverThe effects. What can I say? Well, for starters, the beavers are atrocious – but brilliantly so! They appear in doorways shreaking and looking like they’re having some sort of epileptic fit and wheel across the ground in blatant remote-controled-car-with-fake-fur-on-top fashion. Then there’s the effects later on – which are downright ridiculous, and yet it all just adds to the fun. It’s comedy gold.

The acting is, as expected, pretty questionable at best – however, it’s not quite ‘as bad as porn’ like some I could mention. The characters are, well, pretty ‘meh’ but that’s to be expected – you’re not meant to grow attached to them.

I have to hand it to the writers – they certainly weren’t afraid of taking it to the next level. This film brings plenty of laughs and, I won’t spoil it because it’s too good a moment, but it really ramps up the silly factor in the last half an hour or so. I will mention that, as you might have guessed from the mention above, there’s a suicidal flaming beaver which absolutely cracked me up.

All in all this one is right up there for me – hilariously bad! I have recommended it to a bunch of people already and I highly recommend it to you too!

P.S. I’d also like to share this blog post which I found while writing this post – which shows Zombeavers posters themed in other classic film styles.

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