Tag Archives: disaster

B-Movie in AAA Clothing – San Andreas Reviewed

9 Jun
Not a GTA Sequel...

Not a GTA Sequel…

It’s rare that I get to see a movie suitable for this blog in the theater. Sure, every once in a while there will be a “special” screening (seeing Sharknado in the theater was pretty awesome), but for the most part today’s b-movie goes straight to video. And San Andreas is a b-movie.

It’s just one with a gigantic budget. Which I gotta say, in this case makes the experience all the better for it. Continue reading

“Sharknado 3: Oh hell no!” gets a date!

31 Mar

Hold on to your hats, people! Everyone’s favourite shark-related weather disaster film is coming back – and will be shown on Syfy on July 22nd in the UK. To make sure it’s bigger, “better”, and more cheesy – this time they’ve reeled in the “talents” of The Hoff too!

Hasselhoff is quoted as saying “It’s the worst movie you have ever seen. The first one was the worst. The second one was even worse. I’m so honoured to be in Sharknado 3.”

We. Can’t. Wait.


We’re a Year Old – Time for a Contest

4 Jan

We’re over a year old now (well, the blog is – we are both well over the age of 1) and to celebrate we’re holding a competition of sorts – watch the video for more information.

Dodgy acting, weird hats, and a competition – don’t say we’re not good to you!

On the Rocks – Absolute Zero Reviewed

24 Aug

A drink or two would have definitely helped…

Keeping up with the latest SyFy b-movies has been a little harder than I imagined since I cut the cable back in April, but buried in Netflix one can still find a few “gems”. And since it’s the middle of what’s been a fairly hot summer, this week’s review is for the 2006 ice disaster movie Absolute Zero, starring Jeff Fahey as a scientist with out-of-control eyebrows who discovers that the next ice age is just around the corner. And it’s going to be very, very cold.

Characters in disaster films typically fall into two camps. They can be active, trying to save the day (and usually succeeding) by implementing a last minute theory they invariably pull out of their ass. Or they can be passive, running from explosion to explosion and just trying to make it to the end. Active characters tend to make the plot more exciting, if generally more absurd. Passive ones allow for more “realistic” disasters to unfold, but they generally don’t contribute much beyond tension – unless they’re well written, which rarely happens with a movie like this.

Absolute Zero has the absurd premise of an active movie with characters that mainly react to events around them. It tries to be both kinds of disaster film, with middling results. Continue reading

Taking the Chill Off – 2012: Ice Age Reviewed

22 Mar
Mashup Poster

This is what DirecTV thought the movie was…

In another situation I might not have done this review. I’ve seen plenty of b-movies that I just watch, but DirecTV triggered my OCD-driven need to review it when they mislabeled this a few weeks back. I thought it was weird that in the middle of a disaster movie marathon SyFy would show the animated Ice Age (you know, the one with Ray Romano as a mammoth and Denis Leary as a saber-tooth?), but who was I to question them? Realizing that I had missed seeing this made me track it down (yay NetFlix!), and once I put in that effort a review became inevitable.

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Full of Gas – Swamp Volcano Reviewed

24 Feb

Miami Magma PosterWhen I sit down to watch one of these B-movies, I’m hoping to be entertained. That said, I’m not shocked if I end up feeling more bored or even a little confused (seriously, who was doing what drugs when they thought up Mutant Vampire Zombies from the Hood?). It comes with the territory.

But angry? This was a new one for me –  and exactly how I felt after sitting through Swamp Volcano when I watched it on SyFy. I actually had to step away from it for a little while to figure out why.

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Not in the Face! – Collision Earth Reviewed

25 Jan
Earth in a fender bender...

Bastard didn't even leave his insurance information...

When I sit down to watch a movie like Collision Earth, I’m hoping for one of two things – a shred of believability (sure, I guess humanity could be threatened by man-made ice twisters), or a sense that it’s not taking itself seriously (did I just see a shark jump out of the ocean and take down a jetliner?). That second bit can be achieved either through plot or by casting Stephen Baldwin as the lead. Sometimes a magical movie comes along that satisfies both requirements (Mega Piranha anyone?).

Unfortunately, Collision Earth satisfies neither option. It takes a preposterous premise entirely too seriously, and there’s nary a Baldwin to be seen.

I’ve wanted to do a running diary review of one of these SyFy movies for a while, and when I saw that Amy had done one for Mortal Kombat I figured the time had come. Spoilers will follow, so if you actually want to see the film… I still recommend reading this. I mean seriously, we’re not talking The Sixth Sense twist endings here.

Continue reading