Tag Archives: shark

Jumping Itself: Sharknado 3 Reviewed

23 Aug
Oh... just go.

Oh… just go.

Let me get this out of the way first. I love Sharknado.

The first movie was much more entertaining than what I was expecting and than it had any reason being (considering The Asylum was behind it). Sharknado 2 outright blew me away. It actually made it onto my Mount Rushmore of modern B-Movies (along with Supershark, Ice Twisters, and Mega Piranha). That said, something kept gnawing at me whenever I saw a promo or trailer for the latest in the Chum Trilogy (probably not what they call it, but hey). I think part of the unease was the realization that they might have hit on the perfect formula with the last iteration, and trying to top it would cross that line from awesomely bad to just bad. Was I paranoid, or were my fears justified? Continue reading

Snowed Under – Snow Shark Reviewed

14 Mar
Those Eskimo spring breakers really made a mistake when they tossed out that old hat they found...

Those Eskimo spring breakers really made a mistake when they tossed out that old hat they found…

I heard about Snow Shark the day after I saw the b-movie awesomeness that was Super Shark for the first time. To say I was looking forward to this coming out would be a massive understatement.

Finally, release day arrived and I was at last able to watch this.

I really wish I was still waiting. Continue reading

It Flies? Super Shark Reviewed

11 Jan
Fake Poster

He makes Jaws look like Flipper…

Rare is the movie that gets it all right. I don’t mean that in a “Silence of the Lambs”, “The Godfather”, or “Joe vs. the Volcano” way. I mean when a movie hits a certain level of bat-shit crazy, so bad it’s good, b-movie awesomeness and keeps things there for most of the film. And never takes itself too seriously – a fatal flaw many movies of this ilk suffer from. Mega Piranha comes to mind when I think of the short list of movies that have hit this “zone”. With Super Shark, I’m happy to say a new movie has made it to that list. Continue reading

Twice the Teeth, Thrice the Bad: 2-Headed Shark Attack Reviewed

11 Jun

With a poster this absurd, I didn’t touch a thing…

I try to be positive when I review movies. It’s hard to make these things, and when I can see effort being put into the final product I tend to look for the positive rather than cling to the negative – especially since it’s so easy to find what’s wrong with B movies.

I can’t do that with this film.

There are movies that are bad in a good way, there are movies that are bad in a not so good way, and there are movies that are just God awful. This one not only dips a toe in that third pool, it jumps in headfirst and breaks its neck in the shallow waters. Continue reading

It has a Baldwin! (AKA Shark in Venice)

1 Feb

I love how Shark in Venice starts with really classy, high-brow operatic intro music and lovely surroundings (Venice – you can’t get much nicer) but with really bad, cheap-looking titles slapped over the top. It sets the tone quite well.

This film is of a slightly higher calibre than some of the others I’ve reviewed so far – it has a Baldwin! (Not one of the uber-famous ones but the slightly puffier version – Stephen.) He has a permanent expression that is something akin to ‘confusion’.

You’d hope that all you need to know is in the title, but you’d be wrong. A sleazy-looking thief has hired some divers – lead by Baldwin’s father – to take a look through Venice’s canals for him. Unfortunately for the divers they’re not alone. Baldwin, of course, jets off to Venice to uncover what happened to his father. He meets the local police who are trying to convince people that the divers were killed by a motorboat to prevent public panic. During his dive he’s attacked by Jaws 2.0 and hides in umm…an abandoned treasure trove (as you do) filled with really rubbish booby-traps. Turns out everyone’s after the treasure (surprise!) and Baldwin needs to outwit Sleazy McThief and save the people of Venice from becoming shark-food. DUN DUN DUNNNNNN!

Continue reading