Tag Archives: the asylum

Jumping Itself: Sharknado 3 Reviewed

23 Aug
Oh... just go.

Oh… just go.

Let me get this out of the way first. I love Sharknado.

The first movie was much more entertaining than what I was expecting and than it had any reason being (considering The Asylum was behind it). Sharknado 2 outright blew me away. It actually made it onto my Mount Rushmore of modern B-Movies (along with Supershark, Ice Twisters, and Mega Piranha). That said, something kept gnawing at me whenever I saw a promo or trailer for the latest in the Chum Trilogy (probably not what they call it, but hey). I think part of the unease was the realization that they might have hit on the perfect formula with the last iteration, and trying to top it would cross that line from awesomely bad to just bad. Was I paranoid, or were my fears justified? Continue reading

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Mega Tiffany vs Debbie Gibson-oid

9 Dec

My good friends, Jon and Gavin are apparently so amused by our Two Geeks reviews that when they recently came across a bargain copy of Mega Python vs Gateroid while shopping they insisted on buying it so I could review it. I love my friends!

This has the same loose premise of the other “Mega” films – stupid people and umm…giant animals. I would add “hell bent on destroying humanity” to the end of that sentence but that’s not really true – they just want to eat and generally bumble about. Anyway, it opens with incredibly over-dramatic music as a group of animal-loving eco-terrorists (led by “80s pop sensation” Debbie Gibson) break into a lab to rescue some pythons which are have been experimented on.

They proceed to have a downright ridiculous car chase with the sheriff – who seems to have bought the Zoolander of the car world because it has all the turning capabilities of a brick wall. After they ditch the incompetent law enforcement driver they go to release the snakes. Amazingly, while there were only a handful of snakes in the lab, it seems like they found some more on the way to the release point because when they open the bag it’s like a bad CGI version of Medusa’s hair clippings.

Moving on to our next leading lady, we join our other “80s pop sensation” Tiffany – who is playing the head honcho of the rangers in these ‘ere woods. A bunch of stereotypical hillbilly-types are dying to get their hunting permits and she’s trying to tell them hunting season is off. The costumes department seem to have misjudged her clothing sizes quite impressively – since it looks like she might actually shower buttons all over the place at any second. Who knows, it might have helped her get rid of those pesky hunters quicker – a swift button to the eye could be quite dangerous. She also seems to have used enough lipstick to fund Rimmel for a month – they don’t do anything by halves.

Continue reading

News: Mega Shark 3 announced

27 Mar

Yes, my friends, the blog-o-sphere is rife with reports that The Asylum have announced a third Mega Shark movie. Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus was the starting point for my interest in this type of crazy movie – as I’m sure it was for many people – so I’m fairly excited about this news.

Apparently this news comes after fans sent in a petition to continue the series. This installment takes Mega Shark even further than before – ‘she’ faces a mechanical version of herself, specially built by the American Army to take her down! It sounds like something out of Power Rangers!

Via Movieline