Mega Shark Vs Kolossus AKA “Go home, Mega Shark, you’re drunk”

2 Nov

kolossusOh, once glorious Mega Shark, how far you’ve fallen. We’re now on what feels like the eleventy-millionth Mega Shark sequel, I think mega shark has now fought pretty much everything going – except Arnie (now, that, I’d watch!). Perhaps in the next one he’ll die…and then come back as Ghost Mega shark (I’ll bring the popcorn).

Exaggerations aside, we’ve had Mega Shark vs Giant Octopus, Mega Shark vs Crocosaurus, Mega Shark vs Mecha Shark, and now…this.

So, mega shark is back and he’s flicking Navy ships out the water left, right, and centre for no reason. He doesn’t seem to have a purpose – he’s generally causing havoc as per usual. We join the scene where a Naval fleet, made up of poor man’s Samuel L Jackson (who actually does a reasonable job if you shut your eyes), some generic non-characters, and some inexplicably low-neckline, PVC/pleather-clad babes (Team Unicorn) in a submarine battle Mega Shark.

Meanwhile…the Russians (who else?) have accidentally awakened a giant robotic killing machine they built during the Cold War while they’re searching for an alternative power source. For no apparent reason, they seem to have spent presumably hundreds of millions of rubles giving the robot the appearance of anatomical, exposed human muscles. OK.  Did they give the robot any cool weapons to match his ridiculous muscles?  Well, er…apparently it has the ability to explode (but not disassemble) over and over again.  Well, it’s different…

Continue reading

Jumping Itself: Sharknado 3 Reviewed

23 Aug
Oh... just go.

Oh… just go.

Let me get this out of the way first. I love Sharknado.

The first movie was much more entertaining than what I was expecting and than it had any reason being (considering The Asylum was behind it). Sharknado 2 outright blew me away. It actually made it onto my Mount Rushmore of modern B-Movies (along with Supershark, Ice Twisters, and Mega Piranha). That said, something kept gnawing at me whenever I saw a promo or trailer for the latest in the Chum Trilogy (probably not what they call it, but hey). I think part of the unease was the realization that they might have hit on the perfect formula with the last iteration, and trying to top it would cross that line from awesomely bad to just bad. Was I paranoid, or were my fears justified? Continue reading

Sharknado 3: Oh hell no! is showing THIS WEEK

19 Jul

Get the popcorn in and settle down because the long-awaited Sharknado 3 will premiere on the Syfy channel in various countries this week.

It’s on in the USA at “9/8c” (I’m assuming this time slot makes more sense in America) on Wednesday, and at 10pm on Thursday in the UK.

In the meantime, apparently there’s an app you can download for iOS and Android to “Go shark yourself” – you can insert your face into a shark’s mouth and various other images.  Post your shark pictures in the comments!

*EDIT*

I may have gone a bit OTT with the app…

Go Shark Yourself

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Go Shark Yourself

Coming (Real) Soon – Sharktopus vs Whalewolf

5 Jul

Coming to SyFy in a few weeks is a hilarious-looking sequel to Sharktopus. If the trailer below is anything to go by, it should be entertaining as hell…

B-Movie in AAA Clothing – San Andreas Reviewed

9 Jun
Not a GTA Sequel...

Not a GTA Sequel…

It’s rare that I get to see a movie suitable for this blog in the theater. Sure, every once in a while there will be a “special” screening (seeing Sharknado in the theater was pretty awesome), but for the most part today’s b-movie goes straight to video. And San Andreas is a b-movie.

It’s just one with a gigantic budget. Which I gotta say, in this case makes the experience all the better for it. Continue reading

The Perfect Aussie Surprise – Danger 5 Reviewed

25 May
Danger 5, assemble!

Danger 5, assemble!

When we’re not talking about video games on this site, we gravitate toward campy, cheesy entertainment. You know, the good kind of bad. Those typically work best in movies, which are nice and short. TV shows tend to run longer (even Firefly), and attempts at campy and cheesy tend to become the bad kind of bad. There are always exceptions (Lexx), but it’s been a long time since a series even approached the lofty plateau of gleefully stupid and still remained watchable.

Welcome to the club, Danger 5. Continue reading

Waiting for Moodot – GalCiv 3 Reviewed

23 May
Galactic Civilizations 3

Galactic Civilizations 3

I’ve been looking for a worthy successor to Masters of Orion 2 for a long time. To me (and many others), that remains a pinnacle of space 4X game design that has, sadly, never been fully duplicated. And while I’d still be thrilled if a game came along that gave me the same feeling I had playing MOO2 back in the day, now I’m content if a game can at least bring something new to the genre. So, how does Galactic Civilizations 3 fare? Continue reading

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